I'm going to be honest, despite how passionate I tend to be with my art and my creations, deep down, I really just do not like myself. I have gone through one-fifth of my life feeling like an inadequate and mentally unstable person, feeling like my creations will not impact a single person in the world regardless of what they say. And right now is one of those times where I feel that feeling especially.
My biggest fear is to be forgotten about, to feel like nothing of what I'm doing is making any sort of impact at all in the world, like nothing that I do at all matters in the grand scheme of things. But at the same time, I feel like I am not someone who is worth being remembered, that I will always just be a nobody with big ambitions but little to no motivation to fulfill them, dreams too big to reach built off of broken promises and unstable mental health. I know that sounds dramatic, but that's just how I feel right now.
I know I can improve over time, but seeing that lack of improvement within myself makes me not be able to help but feel this overwhelming sense of self-loathing. My motivation being as wonky as it is, due to having ADHD, is not helping matters much either. I just wish I was able to not let the stress and unfortunate circumstances around me bog me down as much as they really do, but I wouldn't be making this post in the first place if they didn't...
Creeperforce24
I get you man, I really do. Sometimes I feel like my music is just the trashiest shit alive, that I shouldnt even be posting cause I only seem to make bad songs… but some people 664, like my tracks! And even if right now you aren’t popular, you are noticed… and if you aren’t by some horrid luck, I can tell you I’ve looked at you art and damn! It’s actually really good!
I feel what you need, is rest, relaxation, and to make art YOU want to make, not focusing on improving, just focusing on having fun. I learned that if you try and improve with every single drawing, you’re only gonna burn out. Don’t take it too seriously… unless it’s for money… THEN SHITS SERIOUS. but from what I can see, your just an artist on Newgrounds who’s having trouble going on with it, which is understandable! Sometimes I’ve asked, “should I even continue” and I always did, I always found some inspiration! Usually after a break.
And whether your unstable or not, as long ur not an ass to everyone, I say there’s no need to be worried about that. And about being forgotten… well, the strangers here might forget you, but your family, they WILL remember you, that you can count on. And when I say family, I don’t mean just your relatives, I mean your pets, your friends, the people who love you in life. And if you don’t have that… I’ll try my best to remember you :).
Hope you get better man, take some rest <3
ExWaiZee
thank you